"terrible Tap dancing: the mating habits of the red-backed water strider"

This piece was written for the National Science Week event 'The Fabulous, Freaky, and Fierce World of Female Reproduction' at Simple Cider, Hobart on the 23rd of August 2023.

Hark, ye noble hearts,

lend thine ears to this tale, Of water's domain

and the suspense that doth prevail! In the aqueous kingdom,

a story doth unfold, Of aquatic insect lives,

as in legends of old.

Behold, fair folk,

Lady Water Strider bright,

Walking on water,

she doth the scene alight.

With Lady Strider's reflection

upon puddles near,

Six legs kiss water's surface,

ever so clear.

But, hark, Lady Strider,

was not at her rest,

A male water strider

of amorous intent,

was stood abreast

Her limbs, her form,

did his primal desires stoke,

Yet there was a problem,

to solve for this bloke.

With evolutions ways,

she bore a curious trait,

A drawbridge of love,

A genital plate.

Her plate didst succeed,

to hinder his way, Unless she consent,

she would keep him at bay.

And now the male strider,

antennae a flap,

Mounted atop the lady,

and began to tap.

But beyond the surface,

dangers lay unseen,

Predators stirred,

Sensing movement

on the scene.

The one on the bottom,

its fate sealed and done, Might be devoured by hunger,

while the top one did run.

Lady Strider,

in struggle depicted grand,

An internal conflict,

decision at her command.

A decision to make,

in the blink of an eye, A choice that would

change her life,

by and by.

Choice loomed,

OPTION 1: to toss off his weight?

OPTION 2: To move somewhere safer?

OPTION 3: To accept him and mate?

With a blink, she chose,

defenses now low,

Embracing connection,

she let the draw bridge go.

Their union enacted,

with evolutions’s bliss, The longer they mated,

the more likely they’re his. 

She saveth the sperm,

of the males of her choice, She lays them all later,

her eggs to rejoice. She makes her offspring,

with the finest traits she gets, She secures her fitness,

despite the dark threats.

But listen good humans,

we live a long time.

we can make romance

and relationships sublime

 So if you threateningly tap dance

to try to woo your wife,

Do not expect it to

come to anything

other than strife

Thankyou